That wasnt supposed to happen.

But as far as I knew, they were only dating.

They werent together.

Thats not what she said.

According to Brandi, she was Nicks girlfriend.

And now they are broken up.

Cause he cheated on her with me.

I have officially been the other girl.

Thats prolly not a good thing.

And she hates me now.

But whatever.

Im not sorry.

I should be, but im not.

Because I dont regret anything.

Ever.

Oh well.

I just hope she understands that I wasnt like, "oh, lets make out with Brandi's boyfriend"

It was an accident.

And it just kinda happened.

He kissed me.

I kissed back.

This is how stupid I am.

I go this party. Meet this great guy who likes me a lot. We shall call him "J". Start dating him. Get drunk the next weekend and do stuff with another guy. Felt shitty and kinda ignored him the next day. Get drunk with him and am really clingy which scares him away. But I was really that clingy, I was just drunk. He says we should just be friends.

Then I find out his best friend likes me. We shall call him "S". Apparently he has liked me for quite sometime. I was mad cause he didnt bother to say anything.

I decide I am over J. I get drunk with them both the next weekend. Makeout with some mexican [not meant to be racist] in the car on a beer run. Then make out with S. Then my best friend decided to tell me he is in love with me and kisses me. J makes out with my best friend. We shall call her "H". That hurts just kinda a lot. But im over him, so I say nothing.

H is in love with her best friend who we shall call "A". She decides to forget about the thing with J, which makes me happy.

I decide to start kinda dating S since I have nothing better to do.

The thursday after all this, J meets my other best friend "E". E is freaking gorgeous and I didnt want him to meet her simply for that reason. Plus she is in love with her boyfriend. E is drunk and leaves her jacket in the bathroom. I tell her I will go get it, but she throws the car door at me and runs in. I go after her, but it is too late. J followed her into the bathroom and has the door shut. I open it and he pulls me in. He had already made out with her. I get her back outside and on the way home she starts crying cause she just cheated on her boyfriend. Of course I was mad at E for doing that, but it really isnt her fault.

So then, the next night, party with them again.

I have a heart-to-heart with J. He feels bad for making E cry and he tells me why he decided we should just be friends. I feel it is the stupidest reason in the world, but I dont tell him. I prolly should though. It was funny cause he went to lean agianst the bathroom door and it was open so he fell all the way through the bathroom and landed in the tub. Then I have a talk with S and J's other best friend who we shall call "K". That was especially bad cause I kissed him. So now I am as bad as J, cause I made out with 2 of his best friends as he has done to me. Only I dont think that it has hurt him as much as he has hurt me.

Truth is, im not really all that into S. I am not really all that into anyone actually. Only, im actually still into J. And its not a good thing.

If J and I had actually got into a relationship, I know that he would have been the one. Like, I would have fallen head over heels in love with him. And he would have broken my heart. He would have been the first guy to ever break my heart. And I was totally ready to give him that power. And now i cant. And it makes me want to cry. Like hardcore.

That is how stupid I am. I let him go when I could have talked to him and stopped it. And now I feel bad and I am pissed at him. And I just dont know what the hell I should do.